The Valley Girl: Silent Sadness

Friday, the 12th of September, was one of the longest days I have ever experienced in my entire lifetime. I’m not being dramatic about it either. I was at the office when I heard of the news that popular blogger and Malaysia Today website owner, Raja Petra Kamaruddin, otherwise known as RPK, had been detained under the ISA. There was a sense of unrest in the air when it happened even though RPK had foreseen the arrest and subsequent detainment. RPK is no stranger to these sorts of attacks on his person. After all, his posts are scathing, sensational and detailed accounts of abuses of power from those in government. Many of us who read him watched with bated breath for the detainment to happen. The fact that it finally did, in no way makes the situation any better. Or any less scary.

I was at dinner with some friends when the arrest of the Sin Chew journalist, Tan Hoon Cheng took place. As soon as the SMSes came in, the table that was filled with jokes and laughter fell silent, almost immediately. How does one rationalise her arrest under the draconian ISA, when someone, an award-winning journalist at that, gets detained for doing her job?

On the drive home, there was one last nasty surprise. Teresa Kok, a parliamentarian admired for the blunt approach to corruption and injustice was taken in, while driving back to her condominium, also under the ISA. I can safely say, any remaining merriment that night went down the drain. My Facebook account was practically writhing with all the status updates, and judging from the constant messages and updates flying around, it seemed like most of the people on my friends list – politically conscious or not, were scared, worried and angry.

Instantly, calls for vigils were emailed, SMSed and Facebooked. It is during these times, I thank God for technology. Malaysiakini lost its main page and traffic was particularly heavy. Concerned friends, who knew my political leanings called to make sure I was okay, and I called other ‘dissident’ friends I knew to make sure they were okay.

At some point during the night, we discussed the possibility of a major crackdown, not unlike the Ops Lalang crackdown of 1987. I must say however, things have changed greatly since then. Where there was no information then, or vigils, or calls of concern, this time there was, and in such great response too, and this was heartening to note. Suffice to say, not many of us slept well that night. Me? I didn’t sleep at all. Every sound, every movement, every SMS, every phone call kept me awake, wondering who would be next.

And this, my friends, is not a way we should be living. This is also one of the reasons why so many of us, myself included, have been so vehemently against the ISA. The act is one of the most inhumane ones in existence and allows for detention for up to two years with no trial. Some of those under ISA detainment in Kamunting right now have been there for up to seven years, missing birthdays, births, weddings, and deaths. A recent account on a blog by a wife of a detainee, showed a picture of her son at 8 years of age, before the child’s father was detained, and her son now, six years later. To think that this man has missed out on his son’s life for that long due to his detention is simply heart wrenching (www.lailagmi.blogspot.com/2008/09/isa-separated-us-more-than-6-years.html). A simple search on Google for ‘Aliran’ and ‘ISA’ will show you the full list of detainees, and the ‘alleged’ crimes they were accused for committing prior to detainment.

We go about our daily lives hardly thinking about these people, but they are there, each one of them sits as a black mark on the supposed democracy of this country. In one of my moments ruminating the situation of RPK under their current detainment (Tan Hoon Cheng and Teresa Kok has been released), I thought about how life has taken a drastic turn for them.

Imagine yourselves in their shoes for a moment. No more waking up in your warm bed, with its four pillows and perfect IKEA rugs. No more coffee in the morning, or Starbucks for that matter. No more eating at Delicious over the weekends, clubbing, no more TAG, no more Guinness, no more music, no more hot showers, no more coffee with friends, no more seeing mom and dad. Nothing. Just you, and the possibility of an ‘eternity’ of nothingness, and you know the worst of it? Not being able to tell the world your story, or to try and prove your innocence.

To me, what hurts the most is seeing my people, my fellow Malaysians, suffering in detention like this, with no chance of a trial. How do we as a nation sit back and continue to allow these inhumane attempts at sullying our human and individual rights continue? This week, as I walk freely in the streets of Kuala Lumpur, marvelling at my freedoms and yours, perhaps I will say a little prayer for all of them at Kamunting, for those who still suffer in silence.

Michelle Gunaselan is having a quarter-life crisis as she ponders the word ‘Freedom’ and the way she has been taking her liberties for granted. Email her your thoughts at meeshlet@gmail.com.