Chope: No Surprises

I’ve attended many surprise parties before. Rare, however, is a surprise party where the birthday boy or girl genuinely did not expect the occasion. Inevitably, the secret would have been leaked whether by the loose-mouthed or the guileless. So surprise parties, as fun as they are, are often an exercise in feigned shock instead.

As information become more and more ubiquitous, surprise and mystery have become increasingly rare. Say you meet someone attractive. Getting to know them better isn’t hard. If you’re curious enough, a quick search on the Web will likely reveal something—or everything—about anyone.

You can find out their thoughts are, if they blog. Check out who they’re friends with on Facebook. Or find out their taste in music, books and film. Whether they’re single or attached, and if so, who they’re seeing. Ogle at photos of them dancing in a club or wearing pyjamas in bed. In other words, make an assessment of a person before actually getting to know them.

Of course, those already leading public lives have seen their daily antics receive even more scrutiny. Forget the idea of a celebrity as someone glamorous and unattainable. I’ve seen Britney Spears’ private parts more times than I ever wanted to, for instance.

While we’re only recently reading about the rock ‘n’ roll excesses of Guns ‘n’ Roses in the band’s heyday, I’ve already seen videos of Amy Winehouse smoking crack. For all I know, Winehouse hasn’t even showered yet since the video was recorded, but there it is, online for anyone bored enough with their own lives to see. There’s simply no mystery anymore. It’s a reflection of the times, perhaps. After all, instead of waiting for a new CD to arrive at the shop, we simply download advanced copies leaked on the Internet.

Secrets aren’t what they used to be either. I never thought I would see the private indiscretions of a government minister so openly shared, in multiple angles no less. Then again, neither did I expect the corrupt political manoeuverings that are usually hidden from the public eye to be exposed in such a humorous correct, correct, correct fashion.

So while our prime minister might want to treat the expected general election like a surprise party, secrets are increasingly hard to keep. The scrutiny of his every move—whether declaring Thaipusam a public holiday for the entire Klang Valley or increasing the dividend for the EPF—clearly takes the mystery out of when he will call for polls.

Unless you were caught unaware in the middle of the increasingly regular demonstrations, life in the Klang Valley offers few surprises. There’s comfort in predictability, of course, and if there’s anything our city likes, it’s routine—even if it’s routine boredom. No matter the time of year, our weather is either hot or less hot, dry or rainy. We dress the same throughout the year, and don’t change our eating habits much. The only season we have, it seems, is durian season.

There’s certainly value in not knowing everything, whether it’s the identity of the monster in Cloverfield or what surprises your friends have planned for an upcoming birthday. It might be increasingly difficult to avoid “spoilers” these days, but a life without secrets, surprises and mystery is a life that’s painfully dull.
 

Brian Yap would be surprised to hear from you. E-mail him at brian@klue.com.my